Zealous Elucidation

:)

Sun, 01 May 2005 17:11:33 GMT

Welp.. yesterday was fun. Carm and I packed alot of her stuff and some of mine. We started moving stuff to our new apartment. But really we had to paint a hell of alot last night. Wifey, me and carm decided at like 10pm last night to just start painting the kitchen/dinning room a light yellow color. So a six pack of watermelon smirnoff, bag of nacho chips, and spicey fries later the kitchen and everythign was painted. Its a light yellow and I really like the color. Before we painted there was a awful, hidous ugly wallpaper in there. Needless to say its gone now! hehehe.. next is onto the bedroom and bathroom. But all in time. Our new bed is coming today. It wont be for another few weeks i acutally sleep there but hey.. all in time. my parents are coming up on monday with a shit load of stuff for our apt. dressor, coffee table, table & chairs, futon etc. I am so happy I realyl like this place alot. Its big enough for carm and I for now. I mean i dont want to end up living there for the rest of my life as wifey put it. BUt its perfect for now. She even said its alot bigger than she first imagined. Who knew! :) Anways no more time to write i have to go to work and hopefully find my keys on the way :) (scared)..
oh and.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARA BROWN!

okay now thats it..

till later..

okay... so umm yeah..

Fri, 29 Apr 2005 02:54:02 GMT

There are some ups and downs going on now. Umm upper is i got an apartment with carmen. I have some place to live this summer YAY YAY YAY, for not living in the focus. Anyways.. umm kinda have to start packing my shit and what not. Im not going to pack all my stuff. Im going to live in my apt right now until the semester is done. So I am working alot of hours this weekend. Im not all that happy with that for some reasons but extremely happy becasue of others. It means a bigger check. thank god! But i really needed the time on saturday to do stuff like packing and doing homework like research for my 10 - 20 page paper.. so that time was really important. but I guess I will be able to work things out. Next weekend is spring fling and I am not going to be there. I have to go home on saturday afternoon coming back sunday. So yeah its gonna be busy for hte next couple of weeks. my parents are coming up on monday afternoon to see our new apartment. That I think is the scariest part of all, there approval. It means so much to me but at that same time I know i like this place, i feel safe there and carm and i are just starting out.. were doing the best we can. But honestly I am so very nervous about living off campus. I love it on campus alot of the time. Sometimes I feel it is really dufficult for me. but i wake up at night sometimes with such fear that I am going to be alone. How much I am going to lose touch with all the people i have come to rely upon in my everyday life, my everyday actions. ALl my friends I am so afraid of losing that bond, that connection. I also fear being alone sometimes. I know carm is always there, but what happens if she works late at night and im sitting by myself. I know tha tis part of it. But becasue I live on campus I dont ever have to be alone. I wonder if people will come over and chill with me. Like ill pick them up and stuff and drive them back.but i wonder will wifey come visit.. will karen .. SB? So many fears.. I have so many of them and no one to reassure me. I know that sounds childish.. and I hate even writing it down becasue alot of times I fancy myself superwoman. But I need someone to hold my hand through this.. im scared.. im growing up.. im acutally on my own.

so truth be told

Tue, 26 Apr 2005 18:42:11 GMT

Welp.. as it says in my subject the truth much to told. IM PISSED OFF! Okay I dont know what is going on.. but i am sick of it. I am sick of playing all thest games with people and tip towing around becasue i dont know hwy someone is so fucking pissed off. and im so quick to be replaced when I havent gone anywhere yet. YES i am finding an apartment.. I need a place to live this summer. I wasnt sure and am not sure I want to move off campus next year. I love living on campus and with everyone around. But the money siuation is getting tight. It is a toss up between the 500 and somethign a month on campus all at once or the 300 or so a month.. by monthly. Is it so bad. ALot of other people live off campus, and they don't see to get shit for it. Sometimes i dont understanding why I am getting shit for this. I need to be able to grow in my life, i need to be growing up and more reliant upon myself. I need a change. IS THAT SO WRONG!!!!!! :( .. I didn't think so. But I guess i will never know. Now why am i being replaced.. MY NAMES STILL ON IT. Doesnt that count for anyting.. or am i going ot live in my car becasue people kicked me out over ambitously. ... Please someone answer me that. What the hell is going on here?!

quick

Mon, 25 Apr 2005 14:23:23 GMT

so quick update becasue im hungry and the hub has bagels. hehe.. umm nothing really new with me.. wasted my life awya this weekend on a comptuer that hates me. (damn dell!) umm.. carm and i have 3 new mice. Kinda exciting.. they are wicked cute and what not. anyways.. umm.. works well.. class can blow me.. today is carm and my 1 year anniversary. (sigh for rain) but we went out to dinner last night for it so we can be lazy kids all night (nothing better than that). Umm .. still panicing about the apartment situation. Yeah not a good thing I must say. One month to find a place with my baby. ::cross fingers:: anyways.. papers suck, i have one more 20 pg to write then im DONE! with those atleast. Pray that I get a n B+ to an A in weather so I dont have to take her damn test. Other than that.. umm.. my life is boring. Meh.. oh another good thing, my friend matt who is in the marienes (sp) who is like my big brother almost, sent me some pics of him in Iraq.. and him being a drill seregent. Ahh i remember when he was a freshman in highschool, all scared and funny.. now he's married and kicking peoples asses. What a world this has turned out to be. lol he makes me laugh. Anyways.. thers my life in a nut shell.. now off to the bagel shop i go!

sad times

Wed, 13 Apr 2005 14:42:32 GMT

Well.. im back here at PSU. I dont know how i feel about it honestly. Its been a tough year. My aunt passed away last semester. My moms best friend who was like a older sister to me passed away at the beginning of this semester. And my grandpa just passed away on thursday. Tough times. Anyways. Its nice to see everyone though. I feel kinda out of the swing and loop of things. Which makes me really sad. I havent been to alot of ALSO meetings this semester. I regret that. THey are doing amazing things and im so happy to see that. Its a good thing when the whole group participates.Im sorry guys for not being their more. I admire all of you. Good Work.. on Everything!
Anyways.. kind of emotional still. :Sad: anyways. I slept last night alot. so that was really needed. I wanted to go socialize with everyone but my body had other plans. Sleep for my physical and mental health was important. So now im feeling better that way. Except for these DAMN CRAMPS. anyways thats over. yeah...

I have to make up a quiz and a lab. That isnt going to be fun. Test in weather on friday. No fun there either. So we'll see how things turn out. I think im really ready for summer. Except carm and I still need a place to live. *****IF ANYONE KNOWS SOMEONE WHO IS LOOKING FOR A PLACE AND WANTS ROOMMATES, OR KNOWS OF A GOOD PRICED PLACE... PLEASE LET ME KNOW***** Now that, that plug for a place to live is over.. im going to go.. :)

going to be short

Wed, 06 Apr 2005 23:14:35 GMT

This isnt going ot be long.

- Went home on an emergency call about my gramp.
- Saw him in ICU .. he opened his eyes for me when i talked to him (YAY).
- Carm came with me thank god!
- FOund out MORE bad news about my family. ( Stay Strong Uncle Bobby)
- Left the hospital
- got stuck in traffic on 495 (tractor trailer truck on its side *wonderful* )
- 4 and a half hours later.. back to plymouth..
- Did my math homework (YAY for remembering)
- Cant find the remote to my TV (not good .. very sad)
- Poker tonight at 9 hopefully it will be nice and fun to see everyone (hopefully distracting as well)
(* special side note: Carm I dont know what I would do without you through all of it. You are my love, and thank you for all the support. ILU*)..

anyways.. thats my last two scare filled, hospital riden, traffic consumed days ..

Enjoy!

Alittle quieter tonight

Tue, 05 Apr 2005 01:24:09 GMT

So.. Tonight I have been kinda quiet, not really in the mood to talk or anyhitng. Its a very in my head night. Alot of stuff with my grandpa and what not. I have to go home this weekend becasue they dont know how much longer. So really i have to be there for him and them. Which kinda sucks. I have work thursday and friday night until 930.. then i drive home.. go see my gramp and drive back up saturday afternoon to go to work on sunday morning. But the bonus is that I really like my new job. Lets hope the new shine does not ware off of it too much. :(.. but i dunno for now.. i have really enjoyed it! :)Im all by myself right now in my apartment. I am not sure how i feel. I kinda needed a few minutes to myself and stuff but really kinda sad! oh well..
Anyways the weather has reall sucks lately. Flood warnings and endless amounts of rain. but better than snow thats all im gonna say. Hopefully the sun will appear soon.
Kinda worried about whats going on with living situations this summer. I think we really want to take the cabin. Hopefulyl we can find another roommate so we can lower hte price of rent and stuff. which would always be nice! :) .. But I just thinking about it really hate to pass up such a great palce and a great oppoirtunity. I could see myself being there for the final years of college and who knwos maybe after as well. Depenidng on what is going on with carm and my job situations. But I dont want to pass it up. But with only 3 people it just is alittle too much for me in the winter. So hopefully if we find anotehr 1 or 2 people it will lower the rent drastically for ALL of us and it will be the cheapest thing for everyone. :) So heres hoping. I really wish something would pan out for us. Just Something.. living in a 4 x 4 isnt the best... and who knows maybe having alittle more room would improve everyones mood and over all clearity of thought.

Chillen

Fri, 01 Apr 2005 04:26:55 GMT

So writing this is going to be tenative. My hands are kinda sore from playing the cup game. Which was just SOOO much fun! Great night. Last Night we had poker night again. It was fun.. watching carm go from high to low oh so very quickly. anyways... it was just alot of fun to chill with everyone. I miss everyone sometimes. But tonight was fun becasue we all started playing poker but got very bored. So.. instead we decided to show cool card tricks and then the cup game. Ahhh what a good time. Now I will never lack for something to show somoene. Anyways.. not too much is new with me. Kinda bored. Kinda in a pissed off mood. Umm not too sure why. Acutally thats a complete lie! uumm yeah.. i dunno. Its just kinda me being stupid but still. WHATAS THE DEAL! (This is where I rant) Do you acutally think I know those people. You would get into that environment and leave me behind. Im not in the mood to sit by myself watching youi be the life of the party and them not talking to me. And if you even..____( Edit - taking a hint from wifey's live journal) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH [screaming] okay and moving on. I wont care.. if you dont I will never speak to you again, end of story. And DOne!
So moving on.. I got a NEW job today. I hope this one works out. They are only open till 930 (score for me) .. and I hope the people dont suck and the work is okay. I hope i like it enough to stay there this summer. I need 40 hours this summer no exceptions. So we will see. Umm the other thing that is new is this moving into the cabin thing. So far it is me, carm and foster.. BUt I am praying for wifey and karen also. That would be so amazing. Im kinda nervous just becasue we need to know before wednesday. So the land lord wont rent it out to someone else. Ya know. BUt I want to move there so badly. 4 bedroom house, close to school, with a bunch of the best people i have known. Can it get better than that?

Welcome Back

Tue, 29 Mar 2005 16:55:48 GMT

Okay So I know im a day late at this... but... WELCOME BACK everyone! :) sigh! Spring break is over and after careful review I realized.. I didn't do too much of awnyhting productive. I thought I did but when looking back..i realized i was just lieing to myself. Yesterday morning came around.. i had a test at 9 am. Failed lovingly. :(.. But the end of the night made up for it. POKER NIGHT! YAY!:) It was alot of fun. Everyone just chillen and having a good time. Its a nice idea so we all can acutally see each other besides teh 5 minutes we do while going to class. Nothing really too new with me. Im not tan, havent had drinks on the beach, or worn cute bikini's around on the sand. Im head sweatshirt and workboots.. like teh good lil lesbian i am! :(.. anyways everythign else seems to be going okay. Im kinda in a weird mood. Well not really me but im just going off of other vibes. I dunno maybe its the weather. Kinda crappy as of monday morning!:( .. oh well who knows soon it will pick up im sure. Everyone goes through their lulls in life. :) Anyways .. im really into the drawing a happy face at the end of every sentence mood. But yeah other than that. i am going to go and sit through the most BORING class in LIFE!:)

Yup ... thats it!

In RI for the moment

Sun, 27 Mar 2005 01:07:00 GMT

Welp its been a few days since I have last updated. Been kinda crazy recently. Had a whirlwin trip to NY with carm. Alot fun kinda wish we could have stayed longer, or spring break was longer. Ill take either im not picky!! :) We came home yesterday afternoon in time for both of us to go to work. Well work thats a topic I would like to discuss for a moment. PBE can KISS ME ASS!~ right now.. i guess that is why I quit yesterday as well.. ( if u want to know more, inquire with me personally).. so im unemployed, which makes me extremely unhappy and very anxiuos becasue I need an income no matter how shitty it may be. (any suggestions ANYONE?) Welp.. im at home.. decided it was time for a change so I died by hair. Well my sister did it for me, but it is done nonetheless. Red! Thats all im gonna say.. not strawberry red, darker red. Not sure if I like it or not.. havent seen it in the sun.. but if its bright hopefully it will die down soon. oh I GOT MY CAR BACK! YAYAYAYAY! ::this is where everyone joins in to my dance party:: (bouncing around) .. i have missed my sweet pea of a car. ::sigh:: :):):).. so yea.. thats about it. My comptuer decided to play possium today. Wasnt a fan. Must say.. but carm said its fixzed and that makes me a happy kid. **oh i have a test on monday at 9 am** WHO DOES THAT! THE DAY AFTER SPRING BREAK.. Teachers these days.. really! No consideration for students at all lolol .. anyways, i think that is it for now. im going to try and warm up since my parents enjoy the igulio style house and I am use to campus cabana's :)

P.S. I miss you carm! :( 143

so late night

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 04:51:28 GMT

So its 1130 and im already ready for bed. ::Yawn:: tired kid. I guess that is what happens when you are trying to be all productive and shit. Or so im told. busy day tomorrow (well not really) but im gonna let myself think that. It makes me feel more productive over spring break. ::day/night dreaming of hot beachs, cool drinks, and clear water::.. anyways moving on.. kinda in the mood to free write alittle. Maybe jsut a few lines will surfice my inching mind.

Free Write: And.. Go

Angels wings hold me tight. I wait for the morning light, so paintently until you come again, praying I will be lead. To your heart and your eyes, where I will find the key to my demise, or my uplifting strength. I find my soul so calmly settling, but waiting for its scared release, to be tamed and run free, to be held and lead to thee. Flying so gently on the tip of the wings, balancing a life waiting to sing. Finding the song....

and spring break

Tue, 22 Mar 2005 14:50:49 GMT

Welp.. its spring break here at PSU and so far so good. I have not done really much with myself. Go figure. Went to the library but yeah thats about it. How depressing i know. Sigh... anyways.. I think the only other thing that has happened that is eventful is carm and I trying to peirce my belly button. We were unusuccessful only becasue the hole started closing up before we could get the earring in. But we got the needle all the way through. Oh well. Next time possibly. My sister was trying to come up and visit me today.. but yet again our plans were foiled with the overwhelming negative from my father. Maybe some other time, who knows maybe spring fling. Depending on how absolutely shit faced I am. Umm.. yeah.. other than that things are goin okay. Oh oh .. carm and I bought Fraggle Rock last night. ::bouncing up and down:: If you were born in the 80's you should be at this time bouncing up and down with me. ::YAY:: .. oh so exciting.. anyways.. thats about it. I live my life for the small things. Welp.. ill update more later when I have acutally done something wtih my life besides work, sleep, and watch TV..

HAPPY ST.PATRICKS DAY

Fri, 18 Mar 2005 03:19:26 GMT

So I promised I would write more and wow I even amazed myself that I am. I really miss this journal. Ironic I never really thought I would miss something so public.. Meh.. ohwell

Well today was interesting... took a test this morning (dead sick.. oh joy)... went to class this afternoon. Used a whole kleenx box during it..(yeah, I didnt get any stares ::note the scarasm::).. came home and crashed on the couch (AMAZING!)

Then the mafia gathered for what has been building up to KAMI"S BIRTHDAY! So to outback stake house we went. (mind you.. most of us do not eat meat or atleast red meat --thanks kam) went.. had a few laughs... listened to kami's insane crazy drunken stories.. laughed at her trumpet playing and then drove back to plymouth.

-Moral of today- DO NOT EAT AT OUTBACK....EVER!

Thank you have a nice night!

Been WAY to long

Wed, 16 Mar 2005 15:32:12 GMT

Its offical. It has absolutely been WAY too long since i have writen in this wonderful journal of mine. Truth be told i acutally miss it. huh go figure. Well.. to update with my life.. nothig signifcant has really changed. School is sucking the life out of me. I am tired as fuck and sick to boot. Well that sentence is probably an over share. But yeah.. Carm and i are still together. Almost a year.. its crazy. Lately ive had alot of stuff on my mind. I am not sure why, winter depression maybe or just one of those comtimplative times in my life... I have been trying to figure out what is it about a certain aspect of my life that I wnant to improve I just dont know how to get there basically. Ya know! I want to make things happen for the better, so I dont feel so damn insecure sometimes about it. No more smothering or any of that shit either. Maybe its because things aren't new anymore, and that can be a problem for alot of people. People like change and new thigns and no hassels.. but lets be honest, what part of life doesnt have a hassel here and there. Every aspect of life will cause you a problem once and a while, its just a matter of how often. So I'm going to start to change myself alittle. Not for anyone.. just me. Sometimes I just feel like I am not myself. I feel less confident and less independent. (Which SUCKS!).. so Im gonna do my thing and your gonna do your thing and when we come back together... cross paths and we will share our stories. .. Yup.. thats what im gonna do.
So this year so far has been meh.. alright.. I miss the parties and the let loose-ness of last year. I feel like it is so hard to see everyone this year, and when we do.. its like for two seconds then we all must run off into another direction once again. Sigh.. who knows I could be the only one running off into a different direction. I dont know anymore. I'm trying to balance my life and school work ,with friends, family and relationships, just like everyone else. I just feel like everyone else is acutally acheiving at it.. and im stuck here wondering where to begin. Oh well enough contimplative journal entrying for me. I will write again soon.. I really have missed this alot!

Opps...

Tue, 28 Sep 2004 14:22:16 GMT

So im not going to lie either, as SB said, I havent written in this thing in forever. But honestly i feel like I am always running around, so I don't really have enough time to write in it. I write every night but letters are different than a journal. I am afraid I just don't have time to do this anymore and it is sad. I used to love to write in this last year, it was truly my favorite pastime when I had a minute. But this year I dont even have that. UGH that annoying time in a day. Its soo damn short. I am not going ot get into anyhting personal becasue I feel like for the past couple of days well.. honestly since sunday I have just been emotionally drained. 4 minutes in 3 weeks and I lose my chance. UGH!!!!!!!!!.. God i miss her so much, it really almost hurts all the way through me. She left me a message saying she loved me, and that is amazing, I just wish i could have heard it from her voice instead. But im not being picky. Her and i have been together 5 months. Wow.. thats the longest ive been with someone in a while. But we will see how things play out, im not mkaing any assumptions, only hopes. :)... But yeah... school kind of BLOWS. I am already sick of school, and papers, and mid-terms and etc. I really honestly am going to sound like a dork but I really just want to get settled and really start my life. But i feel like I have a few more years to go before that can happen. Well until then I am going to have to settle for waiting paitently and thats all I can do. Go figure. My job situation is kind of confusing and I need to figure it out. I want a certain person to talk to about it, but that doesnt seem to happen lately so I am going to have to settle for myself. :)... I work at walmart. thats right people.. deli bitch. But the first couple of times I worked there it made me sick. Yesterday wasn't too bad ironically enough. I was acutally kind of okay with it. The pay is good though so I can't complain about that. I filled out alot of job applications around town though just incase. Radio Shack wants to hire me, but I take a three dollar pay cut, and that- (for anyone who gets a pay check) is ALOT!.. so I dont know.. I realyl just want a job at like a movie store or something where all I have to do is stand behind the register, I can put in a movie, and bring my homework to work incase I didn't get it all done during the day. Okay so i think I should be done bitching now. Umm positives, I have moved into an apartment on campus. 108 baby the half way house ::wink wink::... its good times, Some things need ot be alittle altered but thats all in due time im sure. other than that.. i just wnat my girlfriend to come home. :( ::tears:: I just want to look into her eyes and hug and kiss her, knowing she is there with me, instead of just in my imagination or dreams. Again all in due time though. I think that should be it for my updates. I will attempt to write more than just once every couple of months. But no promises with teh way my schedule is going.

Its been so long

Thu, 22 Jul 2004 23:24:48 GMT

Well I feel like I haven't writen in this thing is years. Its almost like a forign object to my finger tips. I miss it.. even though I think I have figured out I enjoy the pen and paper more. There is something much more connected about it. Hard to explain truly. I am missing being at PSU so much it almost hurts to think. I can't wait to move back in, although I know that means other things will be changing as well and that sucks to think about. I miss ML and running over to blair to have a wife to wife session with bethen. Or walking across campus at all hours of the night drunk and sober to go to 107 because I can't think of any other place I want to be. Umm.. this summer has gone by with what seemed like a blink of an eye.I remember the count down till school ended and how afraid I wwas going to be that everythign was going to change. People, attitudes, and what not.It seems so strange to me still to not see these people day in and day out. But like I keep getting reminded.. 1 month, 1 month. One month alot will change.. some for the good and some for the.. well.. good and bad. I guess. I guess I will just have to wait and see how things play out. Thats all I can really do, I am just hoping they play out well and time is good to me. I wish I could have seen more people this summer.. but i feel as though alot of things have taken that by force. Like how we all need money and the only way to really accomplish that is by having a job and by having a job you become a slave to the fucking idiot population who claims they are smarter than they are. But let me tell you ladies and gentlemen.. THEY AREN'T. THey are truly as stupid as they appear at first glance. (Sorry rant about work).... so good news- umm.. IM GOING TO SEE CHICAGO! OH YEAH BABY! hehehe.. ::stands up:: Hi my name is christina, and Im a theater-aholic..( well not really.. but I really really like it.) :)... I just want to add I have some of the most beautiful roses in my room right now. What a beautiful sight to wake up to, but I know one thing that could make it even more beautiful. ( Anyone know what I'm thinking....) Yeah so thats about really all I can update. Umm... oh wait.. I HATE WORK.. now that is about it. :)

::Smiles::

Tue, 06 Jul 2004 20:42:03 GMT

okay so everythign is really just going great right now... I dont think I have so much to say. Umm The forth was interesting saw the fam. and that was always fun (sarcastic looks) But my girlfriend came down and that can always put a smile on my face. :) and trust me it does everytime. umm work sucks. go figure right..

Note to Self:
Call-
karen
SB

Thats about it.. I dont have uch to say.. because everything is just going really well. ::All Smiles!!::

P.S. I HAVE RENT STUCK IN MY HEAD~~~~ and the best solution for that is.. Listening to the CD ( I wonder why thats possible.. hmmm love you)

Going out of my mind

Thu, 01 Jul 2004 20:38:17 GMT

I cant be here anymore. Being in RI is killing me. No matter how good of a mood I'm in, when I walk into this house I just tense up and want to scream. I hate this, I hate the way I feel. I hate the fact that I hate being here so much right now. I NEED to get away. Away from my family, away from my job, away from all of this. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Fri, 25 Jun 2004 22:03:28 GMT

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	delicious
Your hugs are...	gentle
Your eyes...	sparkle like the stars
Your touch is...	irresistable
Your smell is...	refreshing
Your smile is...	amazing
Your love is...	eternal

Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

interesting.. not really an update at all.. just kind of somethign fun. I think my mind has taken over way to much and Im commiting to shutting it down for now. So happy times and all smiles..

Free Write

Tue, 22 Jun 2004 21:30:24 GMT

I wish days like this my mind would just forget to ponder. Long nights lead into longer days and the cycle just spins needlessly around. Clarification just seems miles away but yet almost at my finger tips. I allow myself to be enveloped in it but only to lose out in the end. For the fog seems to never want to clear when I need it to the most. I know what I feel and I know what I sense but what is happening or going to happen is smethign I know not. The translucent thoughts flow but I can no longer catch what i need to know. Soon I feel as if everything is going to change. The feeling overwhlems me and catches me right in the depths of its being. I just wish I could tell where it is going to lead. Where it is going to stay... where it is giong to leave. Put some trust in me, put some faith in what may be. What could be, what may never be. I know there is something, someone, somehow I will find it. I guess this is up to me though.. to straigten up my head, to straigten up my life and maybe make osme sense of it all. So just let me in on what you feel.. what you know.. what you wish.. and I will do the same, and maybe somethign will come of it.. something.. maybe...

Insane...

Tue, 22 Jun 2004 00:16:05 GMT

This weekend was insane and very tiring. ::Phew.. sigh:: SB's party was absolutely incredably INSANE. A billion drunk people, bon fires, late night swimming, crazy amounts of jello shots.. and yet through all of it I stayed sober. I got to spend a good amount of time with my girlfriend so that was a good point. One downer was having to get up so earlly although.. I don't think my body could have handled anymore sleeping on teh ground. Damn it to ROCKS! Grrr.... bruises is all I can say. But in the end it was all worth every second. Sunday we all got up early.. either by choice or not by choice. Kami, amanda, carmen and I went out to breakfest. Which was so incredably needed it wasnt even funny. Thank god for Denny's! Then we Drove.. which I am intent to say everyone kami, carmen, amanda and I had spent our entire weekend basically in a car. Yeah.. that is true! Umm we drove here and there..
I GOT TO SEE BIKE WEEK!!! ~~~ and OH MY GOD is all I can say. I am still in awe just thinking about the amazing bikes and breath taking art work on them. Oh my god CHROME! -- sorry miner laps into my fantasy world---
But yeah that was just (amazing insnt even the right world) it was just :: jaw drops:: thats all I can say...Umm got to listen to the rent CD and since then it hasnt left my head.. I am thinking I need to get my ass to thatplay. It just is a must now.. not even a want.. its a must!
~~ So all togheter I oculd not have asked for a better weekend. I got to see everyone. and spend time with the people who at school I can't a live a day without. Thank you so much to everyone who had made this weekend the great time it was. ~~ :: All Smiles::

Wed, 16 Jun 2004 23:44:30 GMT

So this is another update on the survey I did.. Becasue I seemed to get bugged alot about it for not giving specifics on a certain section.. so here we go again....

Layer.nine - In a girl...
Best eye color: I perfer something other than brown it catches my eye.. for example.. Green.. wow...
Best hair color: I dont really care.. but I try and stay away from blondes.. they just aren't my thing.
Short or long hair: This one I have no real opinion on
Height: I hope close to my height.. so I don't feel like a giant..
Best weight: meh... again I dont go up to someone and be like.."hi nice to meet you.. how much do you weigh?!"
Best clothing: I generally like the more sporty dressin' people.. since i have never dated anyone who hasn't played sports.. I figure I will just stay with the trend.
Best first date location: umm.. I guess dinner.. but that seems so normal.. if anyone has suggestions please let me know...
Best first kiss location: outside... its so.. real...

- okay now that, that is over.. I don't really have to much to say.. Maybe a free write will fit in perfectly here... :)

** And the wind catches the chimes and I hear it linger in through my ears. I know the sound means time is once again being recognized only by the few who listen. I catch a passing chime and know I am here once again. I worry though that I may be the only one who recognizes it sometimes. People pass in nonexsistant glances and worry about so much. But they never live for what they dream only the struggles that are there. I unwilling admit I do that from time to time. But I can't help but worry more for them, who dont even see it in their mind. Worry, fright and all that entails take over what they know, but they never get to enjoy the mystical joys there are to know. Don't willingly stay in bed and wonder about the world. I fear as though you won't move and discover what is real. Life changes and life moves on, struggles happen and obstacles appear. But I know within my heart you are stronger than this time. You will be able stand without a crutch or shoulder to leen on. I see it within you, and I see it glow. I feel that you know to, you just don't know how to grasp the truth. You can do it alone. You can be who you are without the definition of someone or something else. You define the true essance of strength.. but you will only find that when you realize. You are stronger than this obstacle, you are stronger than this minute.. you are stronger!!! **

Hehe...

Wed, 16 Jun 2004 20:55:46 GMT

Okay so im convinced... Things are giong well! Yup, thats it. My car is still being ripped apart.. but I can't let that get to me becasue there is nothign i can do about that. So im making the best of these situations.

SB's party is this weekend and I CANT WAIT! .... Everyone in the same location again and no one mising and no worries.. can it get any better than that. I DONT THINK SO.. :) ..

BORED!

Tue, 15 Jun 2004 03:06:03 GMT

Stolen From my Wifey...

Layer.one
Name: Christina
Birthdate: feb. 13,1985
Birthplace: Providence RI
Current location: Barrington RI
Eyes:brown but I wish for green
Hair: brown
Height: 5.10/11 feet
Righty or Lefty: both
Zodiac Sign: Aquaires (sp)

Layer.two
Your heritage: Irish, English, Scottish & German (im a mut)
Your weakness: Having ALOT of walls up ...Too many
Your shoes you wore today: Addidas sandals
Your fears:dieing alone and failing at something really important
Your perfect pizza: umm... BBQ chicken pizza
Goal you'd like to achieve: manke something of myself

Layer.three
Your thoughts first waking up: today? "Why the hell is my aunt calling me on my day off at 8:15 am ?!"
Your best physical feature: I kind of like my lips
Your bedtime: when I start to fall asleep..
Your most missed memory: Carmens b-day party (I second this one from wifey...)

Layer.four
Pepsi or Coke: Neither.. soda=BAD!
McDonald's or Burger King: Wendys.
Single or group dates: I can do both, but no blind dates as a rule...
Adidas or Nike: I love both.. Sneakers are my thing.. heaven!
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Again.. Neither..
Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
Cappuccino or coffee: I know I know.. Niether..

Layer.five
Smoke: No
Cuss: hehehe... come on im a college student
Sing: ALl the time.. but wicked stage fright infront of people....
Take showers daily: mm.. yup
Have a crush: kinda.
Think you've been in love: I have been... stranger things have happened
Want to go college: PSU. woo. yeah. love this place.
Want to get married: eventually... Hopefully
Believe in yourself: I beleive in my ideas, but my ability to communicate them is shakey..
Get motion sickness: Yes.. on boats
Think you're attractive:hardly even close
Think you're a health freak: I only take all natural meds. and I dont eat alot of meat that is the extent of my healthy fascade'.
Get along with your parents: Yeah... for the most part
Like thunderstorms: LOVE THEM!!!!!!
Play an instrument: i used to play piano, and an instrument I dont know how to spell...

Layer.six - in the past months
Gone to the mall: today
Eaten an entire box of Oreos:nope
Eaten sushi: yes
Been on stage: NO! I try and stay away from that aspect of things .. wait I lie.. my old HS's graduation
Gone skating: soon...
Made homemade cookies: yesterday
Gone skinny dipping: lol I dont want to even look at my body.. i wouldnt subject teh water to that...
Dyed your hair: lol highlights.. but they have faded out
Stolen anything: nope

Layer seven - ever..
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: HAHAHAHAHAHA. OH MAN.. SPRING FLING.. I think that about explains it all...
Been called a tease: at some point
Got beaten up: yes, but not in the way people would think..

Layer.eight
Age you hope to be married: there is no real standard for it...
Number and name of children: ::shrugs:: I dont have a clue
Dream wedding: outside
How do you want to die: old age works for me..
Where do you want to attend college: already go to PSU
Dream job: Famous Musican..

Layer.nine - In a girl...
Best eye color: doesn't matter
Best hair color: doesn't matter.. im not picky
Short or long hair: could be either
Height: I hope close to my height.. but that is not a determining factor at all
Best weight: doesn't matter
Best clothing: whatever is comfortable for them...
Best first date location: probably just somewhere.. comfortable.. I dont know really
Best first kiss location:outside... not drunken stuppers trush..

Layer.ten
Number of drugs taken illegally: nothing except alochol
Number of people I could trust with my life: 5
Number of CDs that I own: 250+
Number of piercings: 7 in my ears.. soon to be more other places...
Number of tattoos:1 but that number is going to change as well...
Number of times my name's been in the news: a few times.. Number of scars on my body: oh god.. dont make me count.. i dont think I can count that far...
Number of things in my past that I regret.: 0 .. sometimes you just cant regret the things that at one point made you smile.. no matter how hard they might have been...

Fri, 11 Jun 2004 22:51:06 GMT

C	Cheesy
H	Hot
R	Respectable
I	Innocent
S	Silly
T	Terrific
I	Irresistible
N	Normal
A	Appreciative

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com